WARNING: Please do not continue if you;

  1. begin sentences with “Me I went to school…”, “You you don’t know…”
  2. believe that proper English isn’t important.
  3. Think that “Otherwise?” is an acceptable form of greeting.
  4. don’t have a sense of humour.

It’s common to use too many words that mean nothing in a bid to appear sophisticated  or educated. Here’s a brief guide on a few phrases that we always thought were correct; especially since the computer’s grammar check is usually too polite to point them out.

  • Add an additional: Subtract a subtractional?
  • Added bonus: You might as well say, ‘bonus2’.
  • Ask a question: What else do you surely expect me to ask, the answer?Thank you
  • ATM machine: Does Automated Teller Machine ring a bell?
  • Come again?: Do you seriously want me to return to the beginning of my journey and make my way towards you one more time? On the other hand, for a beautiful lady I’d happily oblige.
  • False pretense: Ever met an honest pretender? A pretense is a deception.
  • Few in number: Few already refers to a small number. It’s like saying ‘short in height’, ‘wide in circumference’…
  • Filled to capacity: If it’s full, it’s already at its capacity. It’ is not full full, it simply isn’t full. Ever seen water that’s half wet?
  • Free gift: You’re either giving me the gift, or charging me for the damn item.fREE gIFT
  • End result: You rarely receive a result at the beginning of a task, operation or project. Unless
  • Invited guests: There is a word for those who show up at functions uninvited.
  • I’m standing right here in front of you: You’ve just wasted 5 valuable seconds of your audiences’ life; never to be recovered.Sign
  • Leading from the front: Traditionally a leader would walk/ ride in front of his charges. Besides, what’s the opposite? Following from behind? Correct phrase: Leading by example.
  • Plan ahead: It is common practice to plan for the future, which already takes care of.images
  • Protest against: Protest conveys opposition. Against is about as useful as a sail on a spaceship.
  • Repeat again: For goodness sake, just how many times would you like me to say ‘again’?
  • Still remains: If something remains, it’s still in the same place.time
  • Suddenly exploded: An explosion is normally a sudden occurrence. One that is expected is called a
  • Unexpected surprise: Would you like me to act surprised? 
  • Written down: Something written has already been taken down.Office


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